Dare I Say It?

I woke up and swung my legs over the side of the bed this morning, and was amazed that I felt little or no pain in my groin and thigh.  (Neck and right shoulder, sure, but I'm used to those sudden sharp pains!)

Hope swelled up inside of me, as it had many times before.  Was my painfully disabilitating groin actually getting better, or was I kidding myself?

In the afternoon I got on my bed again for my osteopathy treatment, and almost immediately I felt the groin pain come back full force as I lay on my back. However, when my cushions were put in position the pain subsided.

Mom always said I was the most stubborn and determined person she'd ever met, and she was right! I do feel like my groin pain is gradually getting better (knock on wood!) but even if it gets bad again, I'm determined to find ways to combat it.

During my treatment I had Lady GaGa's song "Do What You Want With My Body" going through my head (it's still playing over and over again!)

I have a lot of thoughts about that song. I like it, it's good to groove to, and I know she's directing the lyrics to the media, saying "you can't have my mind or my heart, but you can take pictures of me and interview me." That's good, sure! However, I am concerned that jerky sexist people might take it literally, and that would be disastrous, because they might take it as an open invitation for rape.

Personally, in my mind I like to change the lyrics to "You can't do everything with my body" and make it into a victory song, directing it at Tobias House and Participation House, saying "see, you  bastards don't have control over my body, mind and heart anymore!"

See? I am determined! After years and years of abuse, I finally got out of that nightmare.  Nobody has total control over my body except me, and that's how it should be!