Sunday, November 30, 2014

Sleepy Sunday

I just woke up from a thirty minute nap feeling refreshed, happy, and pleased with everything I accomplished this afternoon.

The floors were mopped, laundry washed, payroll finished, emails answered, and 2015 calendars posted.

2015 Art Calendar on Etsy

I was happy and optimistic upon awakening - until I read the news on Facebook about the pipeline spill!  (It's funny how much important news I do get from Facebook and other social media than from actual newspapers.)  I logged onto The Star's website afterwards and found no headlines at all about the 60,000 litre #oilspill.  When I did find an article about this disasterous story, it was very short, and it assured us that no wildlife was affected.  Unless they mean "wildlife" as in people who just live to party it up, I seriously doubt this latter claim.

I'm going to bed now.  Wake me up when people are more concerned about the health of this poor planet than sports, finance, and gossip ....

Saturday, November 29, 2014

So Far So Good!

It's early morning at the market and I've already had three customers.  Three really nice, decent customers. What do I mean by this? They were respectful of both myself and my artwork. They were enthusiastic about my work and chatted amiably -  and directly - with me.

They were not ableist shmucks.

Indeed, one customer was pretty damn cute, and wants to commission me to paint his dog Bobby.

I hope the day continues in this uplifting, profitable way.

Friday, November 28, 2014

A Waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay Better Day!

Modes of communication are all open and working. Thank god!  I get kind of panicstricken when one (or all) of my devices aren't in working order.

And, speaking of communication, I'll be more communicative tomorrow.

I'm pooped ....

Thursday, November 27, 2014

Wednesday, November 26, 2014

I Can Almost Taste it!

I'm so close to finishing this painting -  I can almost taste it!  I did a bit more work on it last night ... and I don't hate it anymore.  Maybe I'll even end up loving it!  Maybe it'll be one of  my favourite paintings. Who knows ....

 I'll try to finish it either tomorrow or Friday, but no guarantees. Hershey needs to go to the vet tomorrow for a check-up; and, I need to post some of my artwork on Etsy, update my finances. and finish the payroll.

If I get overwhelmed by everything I need to do, I'll take a deep breath; swallow a Lorazepam; and tell myself that in the grander scheme of things getting all of these completed in a timely manner doesn't really matter all that much.

Hopefully, I'll listen to myself and give myself a break.  I don't know, though.  Already part of me is rebelling, telling me to push myself harder and sleep less.

After all, December 1st is on Monday (how the fuck did that happen?) and I need all my ducks in a row for the Christmas season.

Tuesday, November 25, 2014

Juggling, Forever Juggling

I did some more work on my painting this afternoon for a few hours.  I'm just not crazy about it.  Perhaps I'm being overly critical, or perhaps I've lost some of my enthusiasm for it because I have so many other things to do besides this painting.

I mean, sure, when I was letting one section of the painting dry I was editing pictures to put on Etsy, writing emails, or trying to catch up on my finances - and that's good!  Right?  Sure, but I still feel swamped, as if I might let a ball or two drop if I'm not careful ...

I can't have that, can I?

Back to painting!

Monday, November 24, 2014

Back in the Groove

I'm back in the groove, folks!  I'm feeling waaaay better, and I'm infused with so much energy it's sickening!

I had the first training shift with Chrissy today.  She did very well.

I went to to the post office and mailed a parcel; I ordered a refill on a prescription and bought groceries; I even wrapped some Christmas presents!

And, now I'm going to work on my painting ....

Sunday, November 23, 2014

Back to Normal

I'm feeling much better today, almost totally back to normal.  Thank goodness!  The shakiness; body heat; and chest pains have disappeared.  I still have the rash, though.

Hopefully, by tomorrow I'll be 100% better ... even 99% would be do-able!

Saturday, November 22, 2014

Hospital Instead of Market

So, I thought I was doing better last night, but I guess I was just fooling myself.  I couldn't fall asleep because I was feeling extremely shaky and my chest was pounding so hard that I was sure my heart would spring out of my body. (This seemed weird to me because I had taken several types of medication that were supposed to induce drowsiness and alleviate anxiety!)  Not only that, but my whole body -  especially my legs  -  felt both hot and cold at the same time.

At 6am, I woke up intending to go to the market and sell my wares,  but I was still feeling terribly weird and, well, a bit scared too.  So, I decided to go to the hospital instead.

As hospital visits go, it wasn't too bad. The whole experience took maybe two and a half hours, perhaps three. And, towards the end, when I finally got to see the doctor who was handling my case I was super stoked because he only spoke directly to me, totally unacknowledging Lucy's presence, and talked pllainly to me as he would to any other patient.

I was given stronger allergy medicine and told that all of the symptoms would go away in a few days.  Hopefully, this will be true - I still feel so weird! 

Because I didn't sleep very well last night and because waiting in a hospital always exhaust me, I came home, ate brunch, and napped with my two sweet cats.

My boys are good nurses and hot water bottles!

Friday, November 21, 2014


I'm not at my most alert at the moment.  I just took a Lorazepam and a Benadryl; so I'm calm, relaxed, and very sleepy.

Last night, as I was about to change into my nightgown, I looked down at my torso and saw this huge blotchy rash.  Bloody hell! On Wednesday, the doctor at the hospital had told me that only 3% of people have some sort of reaction (rash; tightening and pain in the chest; swollen throat etc) to the dye that they put into your veins, and, wouldn't you know, I'm amongst these lucky few.

The doctor had also told me that if I experienced any of these symptoms I needed to go to either a walk-in clinic or to an Emergency Room right away.  It was 2am last night, however, when I decided to go to bed, so I didn't want to put my clothes back on and then zoom over to the nearest hospital.

I didn't sleep very well, though, because I kept wondering if I should have gone to the hospital.  Plus, I had developed a pain in my chest - not too severe, but enough to worry about!

However, I went to a walk-in clinic, saw a doctor who told me to buy Benadryl for my rash.  She also said that if the rash or the pain in my chest became worse to go to the hospital.

I feel fine now, though ... albeit a bit dozey.

Thursday, November 20, 2014

Getting Things Done!

It's been one of those kinds of days that I really like.  I crammed so many activities into only a few hours - and, amazingly, everything worked out!

I met a potential employee named Chrissy, and we had the intrerview at the Starbucks nearest to my home.  A friend of Yuula's, Chrissy seemed super nice, outgoing, and pro-active.  If time allows, I'll set up a few dates for her training next week.

Interviewing Chrissy was the fun part of the day.  The other things I did today were regular, necessary chores:  laundry; banking; issuing cheques to my employees, grocery shopping; and emails.

I'm alone now, so I think I'll do more painting until Brittainy comes with a sub and a frappuccino ....

Wednesday, November 19, 2014


What a day!  I'm so tired now ....

With no food or drink in my stomach, I went to Womens' College Hospital to have the CT scan.  I absolutely hate drinking water, but when I was told that I had to down a huge paper cup beforehand I did so with very little complaint.

The actual scan was easy (I even dozed off a couple of times while inside the machine), but the preparation for it was more involved and painful!  I don't know what type of needles they used, but they felt like bamboo shoots!  Yikes! And, I use the term "they" because the technicians had to poke me twice because the first needle fell out.

Where did I go afterwards?  Starbucks, of course!  I needed a treat after all of that poking and proding at the hospital.  I was so hungry and thirsty too!

Now that I'm home, warm, and sated, I'm going to relax by either watching Borgia on Netflix or Last Week Tonight with John Oliver on YouTube.

 Hmm ... decisions, decisions.

Tuesday, November 18, 2014

Grumble, Grumble, Grumble

Aw, shit. Today hasn't been the greatest.

I'm tired because my water dispenser has been making terrible loud noises and it kept me up all night. I was going to get it fixed but decided it's probably cheaper just to order a whole new one.

I'm hungry but I can only eat until 11:00 and then I can't have any food until after the C.T scan, which is at 2:00 p.m. Bloody hell! I need food, I need sustenance!

I haven't mentioned the C.T scan in any of my posts because 1) I want to put it out if my mind, 2) I read on the internet that cysts on your pancreas are quite common and rarely cancerous, and 3) What if! What if! Holy fuck, what if there's something seriously wrong?

It's 10:00 now and I only have an hour to eat. so this post will be short.

Wish me luck, everyone!

Sunday, November 16, 2014

First Snowfall

I had my usual peanut butter/banana/chocolate crepe this morning.  Unfortunately, I was out of maple syrup, so I poured chocolate/peppermint over the already sinful breakfast.

I  had a pretty productive day, which made me happy.  Emails were sent, payroll done, groceries bought. 

(By the way, what's with these hilarious labels on products?  Stayfree panty-liners claimed to have "Radience"! My vagina has never glowed when I've used them.  I want my money back!  And Yeast Busters' packaging has "Candida Trauma" written on it.  Trauma?  Hardly!  Candida is just annoying!)

And yet, between keeping busy; eating with gusto; and musing about labels on products, I couldn't help but notice the snow falling outside.  It was the first snowfall of the season, and it floated down slowly, prettily.

Inwardly I groaned, knowing full well that more snow would fall soon, and with it frigid temperatures.  These conditions are not great for people in wheelchairs, such as myself.

Rob loved snow and the coldness of winter.  I could almost see him on the balcony, trying to act all cool (pardon the pun), and yet child-like excitement emiting from him in waves. I can hear Rob saying he was impatient for the real snow to come and blanket the entire city in a beautiful velvety white.

I will always hate the freezzing temperatures of winter.  The icy snow that impedes my ability to go to and from wherever I want, whenever I want.  I dread the ugly periods of winter:  the dirty slushy snow, and the long gloomy sunless days.

I will always hate winter; but I will also always love my dear, sweet Rob too ....

I miss you, Rob ... you old snow bunny, you!

Saturday, November 15, 2014

Mildly Lucky Leggings

I wore these leggings today, thinking that perhaps they would bring me some luck at the market.  I had imagined that my customers would take one look at this adorable duo and be so enchanted that they'd buy tons and tons of my work.

People liked my leggings, sure, and I got several compliments on my new hair colour, and yet, all I made was $58.00.  However, it's still better than a kick in the head!

The best part of the day was having dinner with Motria at Hot House.  We hadn't seen each other in weeks, so it was fun to catch up over good food.

Because I did a favour for Motria a while ago, she presented me with a bottle of fine scotch.

Now all I have to worry about is Rascal trying to steal it from me!

Friday, November 14, 2014

Too Much

Too much pain, stress, and work still to do.

No rest for the wicked ....  And I'm so wicked!


Thursday, November 13, 2014

Still Painting

I'm aiming to finish this painting either tonight or tomorow.

I'll let you know how it goes ....

Wednesday, November 12, 2014

Painting Therapy

Today was counseling Wednesday, and like most other times when I spill my guts I feel wrung out; super emotional; and grumpy afterwards.

So, I'm going to paint this evening. Painting will make me forget about all of the dark shadows that hide within my mind.

Painting will be fun!

Tuesday, November 11, 2014

Remembering Remembrance Day

At 3pm this afternoon, when Brittainy's shift was over and I was by myself, I decided to look at The Star's webpage. My first reaction to the headlines had been:  Holy shit, it's Remembrance Day!  How can it be November 11th already?

My second reaction had been to roll my eyes at the ironic headline: Canadian jets hit Islamic State artilery position.  More fighting, more killing of innocent people.  Would we humans never learn?

I wasn't always so cynical.   I remember, as a child of ten, writing a speech for school that honoured the soldiers who fought in World War I and the sequel World War II.  I was proud of myself because I had been taught that although war was bad it was sometimes necessary to defend your country and its ideals.

However, at the same time my mom would tell me stories about what it was like during the war years.  She told me that all the young men that she knew thought of going to war as a fun adventure, but most of them came back injured and shell-shocked.  Some didn't come home at all. 

I know some people will be upset with my post and say we need to honour the brave soldiers who gave up their lives to defend our country and lifestyle.  To those people I say: wouldn't a better way to honour those soldiers be to stop all wars?  We would be sending a message that said 'thank you for your sacrifice, we appreciate what you did so much that we never want to repeat the same mistakes again.'

Doesn't that sound reasonable to you?  It sure does to me!

Sunday, November 9, 2014

Slow but Productive Sunday

Not much to say ...  I replied to emails, bought cat food, worked on my finances, and tried to clear off some space from my hard drive.

Tomorrow I'll start a new painting - a nude self-portrait!

Saturday, November 8, 2014

Good Ideas

There were a lot of good ideas floating around the market today.  Indeed, there were so many that my mind is still buzzing with possibilities!

Well, first this customer told me that she had six cats and that she wanted me to do a couple of paintings of them.  Yay!  I love people who are lovers of cats and art. There should be more people like that!

Not long after that, my friend Ian came to see me and to deliver a few canvas prints of my more recent works of art.

I paid Ian for his time and the materials, and told him,  not for the first time, how grateful I was to him for making the canvas prints.  It's one way I can sell smaller versions of my artwork to those who may not be able to afford the originals.

Ian suggested that I try selling my artwork over Instagam - a brilliant idea, I thought!  We got to talking about the art show he's having in the near future, and that gave him another idea.  He'd connect me with the person who is helping him set his show up and maybe they could do the same for me.

Cool, eh?!

After Ian left, a customer came up and invited me to his art show in December, which is being held at Come As You Are.  As I was saying yes to my customer's kind invitation two lightbulbs went off in my head, one after another.  I knew the people who run the store Come As You Are (I've known them for years, especially Cory), so why wasn't I 1) seeing if they'd carry my new collection of nude art cards, and 2) applying there for my own art show?

Why indeed.  Years ago, they occasionally would carry my cards.  The quality of my cards is way better than it was back then.  And, also back then, it was suggested that I have an art show on their premises, but I didn't feel like I had enough nuddes to do that.  I do now. 

Maybe it's time to contact Cory again at Come As You Are and see if I can set things in motion ....

Friday, November 7, 2014

Sitting This One Out

Perhaps it's the change in the weather (it's bloody cold outside!) or perhaps I'm simply stressed out and overtired.  Whatever the reason, I'm feeling nauseous, achy, and very emotional.

Bleah ....  I'm sorry, but sitting this one out.

Talk to you tomorrow.

Thursday, November 6, 2014

Not a Bad Day

I had a pretty good day.  First, my osteopath came over to give me a treatment.  Like always, I had a short nap with Rascal.

When I awoke,  I first had several texts from my old friend Pat.  I hadn't heard from her, in any serious compacity, for years.   We chatted, and then made arrangements to meet up in three weeks.

And then, my second cousin Craig, who I rarely (if ever) hear from, started texting me as well.  Craig asked me if I could help him with a socialology project he's working on.  Craig wanted my expert views on accessible transit.  I told him that it would be my pleasure to help him!

In the evening, I met Simone at Starbucks for a snack and a chat.

All in all, not a bad day ....  Not a bad day at all!

Wednesday, November 5, 2014

Finally Finished Hank!!

Phew! After four weeks of work, "Hank" is all finished.  I hope Motria will like it when I give it her.

Hmmm ....  What should I paint next?

Tuesday, November 4, 2014

The Dream of the Living Dead

This morning, I woke up from one of my weird dreams.  It was fragmented and mostly starred dead people from my past:  Mom, Dad, Rob, and sort of Dandylion.  I say sort of  Dandylion because although he looked exactly like my dear departed cat, he was presented to me as a kitten in an open sandwich baggie.  Nathalie, who trained me fifteen years ago in how to be a conflict resolution worker, held the baggie with Dandylion Kitten in it, and fed him food from an eye dropper.  Nathalie could see how enamored I was of the cute little thing, so she asked me if I thought I could take care of him. I said, Yes, yes, of course I can!  And, I'll name him Red not Dandylion. Rob suddenly appeared and said, Of course we can take care of  him - he's been following me around for years! 

In another part of the dream, somehow a mall was attached to the old family house.  Mom, Dad, and Gran Abbott were there, in the mall section, and they said that they were happy to see me but they were really into listening to a lecture on golf.

I wandered away because I wasn't interested in golf.  Brittainy and I were looking at clothes when she suddenly squealed (she often does this when she gets excited about something) and said, Oh, Anne, you're going to love this dress!  The label is Anne Boleyn, and I think Judy Garland wore it in a movie with Cary Grant.

I was so perplexed by the reference that Judy Garland and Cary Grant had been in a movie together that I woke up. 

Sure, a kitten in a sandwich baggie seemed normal, as well as a mall attached to my old home.  My dead relatives more interested in golf than talking to me?  Plausible, I guess ....  Maybe they were preparing for a tournament or something.

But Judy Garland and Cary Grant had starred in a movie together?  Really?  I find that odd! I can't remember any movie that had both of them in it.

Cary Grant and Judy Holiday sure!  But Judy Garland? That's nuts!

Sunday, November 2, 2014

Tired but Satisfied

I'm very tired but satisfied with the amount of work I've done today.  Emails were written, dates with friends were set, laundry and floors and dishes were washed.

The main thing I tackled today, though, was putting several art pieces and merchandise onto Etsy - something I've been wanting to do for ages! Hopefully, this will bring me more customers ...


two-dogs-in-a-stroller-16x20-acrylic painting

Tomorrow, I will seriously look up which art grants could be useful to me.  I'll make a list, too, of all of my ideas for art projects.

If I have time and energy, I'll also paint.

Saturday, November 1, 2014

Working Hard at Home

For several reasons I decided not to go to the market today.  Yes, it was cold and gloomy looking outside; that was part of it, I suppose.

The main reason, however, was that I've been gradually becoming more and more depressed over the amount of work that lays ahead of me.  No matter how much I've done in a day (and some nights I take my iPad to bed and do more work from there), I feel like I've only chipped away at the very tip of the iceberg.  I know that theres more underneath (always more!) under the surface.

Today, I decided to stay at home and take a jackhammer to that bloody piece of ice.  I've been working since 10am nonstop!

When I feel satisfied with everything I've accomplished, I just may have scotch on the rocks ....