September 26, 2023
It played during the first bloom of our romance.
It played at our wedding for our first dance.
It seemed like nothing could go wrong as long as we heard our song.
Love of my life I love you so …
Ebb and flow, ebb and flow,
Despite all of life’s trials, tribulations and complications,
Our love for each other continued to grow.
Love of my life, don’t ever go …
I’ll never forget that one day, so long ago –
The doctors told me that you would very soon, simply slip away.
And so, I sat by your bedside day after day,
After day ….
I held your hand, stroked your face and mass of curly hair,
Wanting you to know that I was there, and with all of my heart, cared.
Over and over, I played our song,
Hoping that, somehow, it would make you, once again, healthy and strong.
I love you, Darling! I love you only. …
I was your wife and knew without a doubt that you would survive.
We were happy for quite a long while.
Through good and bad times, we could make each other smile.
Like two puzzle pieces we fit together perfectly.
Our love would last forever, we knew this with great certainty.
Stars in the sky, they never lied.
You were my groom, I was your bride.
Tell me that you need me, don’t say goodbye …
Like the worst form of déjà vu,
Once again, I was there holding your hand,
Worrying about you
Once again, I played our song,
Fearful, this time, that there might be something terribly wrong.
For two days and one night,
They told me that, yes, your heart was damaged, but everything was going to be alright.
Tests next week, they said.
Tests and, until then, a lot of rest.
I was your wife,
And I knew with every single cell of my being that this time you would not survive.
Don’t ever, don’t ever, don’t ever, make me —
For twenty-one years you had been my one and only.
During all this time, you had always been loving and true,
There was nothing I didn’t love about you.
You had been sweet and kind.
Now that you were gone,
I felt as if I was losing my mind.
Your heart had literally been broken, beyond repair.
I found it hard to grasp that you would no longer be there.
Day after day …
After day …
After day …
I felt tormented by shock and unbearable dismay.
Ebb and flow,
Ebb and flow.
There’s no place to hide, no place left to go.
Throughout the years, my grief has become like an ocean,
Full of thoughts and emotions.
There are times when the tide comes in and I can feel happy and glad.
There are times when the tide goes out and I simply feel lonely and sad.
Still, my love, I have wonderful, treasured memories of being with you.
Now, during good times and bad,
Remembering you is what helps me to get through.
Also, and never forget, I’m always connected with you through our song.
Whenever I hear it, it’s as if you are with me,
Which makes me feel happy, secure and strong,
As if nothing could ever be wrong.
Love of my life, I love you so
Love of my life, please don’t ever go
I love you only, love, love of my life
Ooh, ooh, oooh …
Anne K. Abbott
(Lyrics by Frank Zappa and the Mothers of Invention)