Thursday, October 29, 2015


I'm obsessed.

With Johnny Depp?  Sure!

With adorable and funny animals?  Of course!

With peppermint mocha frappuccinos, delicious chocolates, hot men, and my art?  Definitely!

However, what is really obsessing me most is setting up my new laptop. ARGH!  Transfering files through wifi is painfully slow!

Thankfully, someone is lending me an Ethernet cable tomorrow ....

Zoom, zoom - can't wait!

Wednesday, October 28, 2015

Playing Catch-up Again

.Completed Duties:

  • Took Hershey to the vet
  • Went to see my grief counsellor
  • Wrote emails/texts
  • Tried to not throw out my new computer in frustration 

 Things Still to Do:

  • Finish the employees' scheduling
  • Finish a cat painting, begin work on a commissioned dog painting
  • Finally get the new laptop set up properly!!!

    Tuesday, October 27, 2015

    Still Working on New Laptop

    Computers are wonderful, useful tools.  They make my life, as a person with a disability, much easier.  And yet, I kind of wish that I could wave a magic wand and 1) be already tailored to my specifications/needs right out of the box and 2) transfer files faster!

    Bloody hell -  my new computer is only at 15%!!!

    Monday, October 26, 2015


    I got my new computer today.  It's a Lenovo, and I think I like it.  At least it has all its keys! I just need to install all of my programs onto it before I'm 100% sure.

    Saturday, October 24, 2015


    I woke up this morning with a terribly stuffed up nose and I was feeling a bit nauseous as well. Plus,it was dark and rainy too.  So, I decided to stay home and not go to the market this week.

    I slept in and touched up my red hair. As entertainment, I watched Reign, The Walking Dead, and Law & Order. 

    Perhaps I needed one day of rest because I feel much better - renewed!

    Wednesday, October 21, 2015

    There's a Way if There's a Will

    I couldn't go to my counselling appointment today, nor was I able to sit in my wheelchair like I usuallly do. It doesn't matter why this was so, all that does matter is that I still got a lot of stuff done anyway.

    I booked Hershey for his annual check-up; called Dell and made sure they had received their laptop back; wrote out cheques out for my employees; and, had a prescription refilled.

    Tomorrow I paint!

    Tuesday, October 20, 2015

    Monday, October 19, 2015

    Photos from a Chilly Fall Day at the Market Part III

    On Saturday, after the market, Brittainy and I met Motria for dinner at Hot House.

    All three of us like Hot House.  The food is delicious and affordable, the atmosphere is pleasant and inviting, the management and servers treat us like old friends.  Usually, upon seeing us, someone will say with a laugh, "Oh, it's you guys - it must be Saturday!"

    That's how it usually is. However, this time, even though we arrived early and there were not many other diners besides us, we received really bad service.  Our server was extremely slow (at one point, Motria could see this person standing around for twenty minutes while we waited) and rather rude too!

    By "rude" I mean that not once did the server look directly at me, nor did she pay any attention to anything I was telling her.

    I don't understand how rude people like this can think that this is acceptable behavior!  Will people ever understand?  I wonder ....

    However, the manager appologised profusely and said that he'd talk to the server.  Well, at least that's something.

    Sunday, October 18, 2015

    Photos from a Chilly Fall Day at the Market Part II

    Yesterday, I wanted to wear these tights (the ones on the left) but, unfortunately, it was simply too chilly outside.  There was even a bit of wet snow.

    Sales were very good at the market. Interestingly enough, I had made t-shirts and note cards with the design Smokin' Rob on them for one customer.  She was very pleased with her order when she picked them up, which made me happy. (She also commissioned me to do a painting for her.)

    What kind of surprised me, though, was that other people were also buying and being enthusiastic over my Smokin' Rob merchandise.  Rob, I am certain, would have been both amazed and bemused by this phenonenon.  Always self-deprecating, I can imagine him saying something like:  "Why would anyone want my ugly mug on a t-shit, cards ... or even an actual mug?"

    To be continued ....

    Thursday, October 15, 2015


    Bloody hell! I need to send back my computer!

    After all of the nonsense with Purolator claiming that they'd attempted to leave my new laptop on Tuesday but I hadn't been home (Liars! I had been home all day!) it finally came today. Unfortunately, the layout of the laptop's keyboard wasn't suitable for me.  The keys were too small and set too far back for me to reach.

    I went to Best Buy to look for a better laptop, but nothing seemed all that great and no salesperson offered to help me anyway.

    So, the search continues ...!

    Wednesday, October 14, 2015


    I was going to voice my disappointment and frustration re not getting my laptop today because of  a screw-up made by Purolator - but I'd rather start a new painting!

    Tuesday, October 13, 2015

    What I Did This Fall Day

    I'm expecting a new laptop to be delivered tomorrow, so all day I've been trying to back-up all of my important files before I have to switch over.  It's a lot of work, especially since my laptop keeps heating up and needing to be turned off.

    However, I did find time to go get cat food from the vet, pick up a parcel from the post office, and buying groceries from Loblaws.

    Did you know there are chocolate Cheerios?!

    Well, anyway, back to backing up my computer .....

    Sunday, October 11, 2015


    Yesterday, at the market ...

    Sales were kind of slow, but then a customer and his wife came to pick up a painting from me. Indeed, they liked it so much they ran out and got it framed right away.

    And then, after the market, Brittainy and I met Bruce; Michelle; Thomas; and Motria at  Swiss Chalet for our Thanksgiving dinner.

    As if the food and company weren't already perfect enough, a complete stranger bought us our dinner and left us this note.

    What am I thankful for this year?  People like this kind, generous anonmyous person who restore my faith in humanity.

    Saturday, October 10, 2015

    My Back Against the Closet Door Part II

    So, as I was saying yesterday, ever since Wednesday, or to be more precise Tuesday night, I have been struggling with difficult memories of my past.  Especially when I'm by myself, they assault me, bombarding me with dark images and negative thoughts, which are difficult to handle.

    It all began with a well-meaning lecture from a friend upon the evils of lending money to friends and family. My friend told me that I should never lend money, and if I did I should make the person sign a promissory note and take them to court if they didn't pay up.  I thought whoa, that's kind of over the top!  Whenever I've lent money to people it's been for small amounts and for desperate situations. 99% of the time, the money is paid in full within a reasonable time.   And, if not repaid then I'd simply never lend that person money ever again! I explained to my friend that, generally speaking, I would rather take a chance on someone and lend them money than not and know that they were struggling.

    I had hoped that my viewpoint would have been enough for her, but, no, she kept pressuring me to only see things her way.

    The last straw, though, was when my friend started making comments about how people on ODSP and welfare had it "so good". I was hurt and upset by this careless statement, as she knew I used to be on ODSP.

    I started to cry, and memories of struggling to make ends meet filled my mind. I would sell my cards in all kinds of weather, to stores or just people on the street. People were either cool, or very rude or disrespectful. It was truly humiliating! Sometimes when cards wouldn't sell I would I take books to get money or pawn jewellery.

    The lack of money was just one aspect of being on ODSP, it was the humiliation from people who should have known better. ODSP workers would pick through my bank account, looking for any discrepancies and making noises of disapproval.

    But being poor in general, especially if you have a disability, also means you have a lack of choices. You can only live in subsidized housing, and, unless you're as fortunate as I am to have direct funding, you don't get a choice in who works for you and assists you with your most personal needs.

    So this is what keeps invading my mind and making me cry. Perhaps these memories will settle down and go neatly back into my mind closet soon. I hope so! And yet, in a perverse way I cherish these memories because I came through all that shit and I think I'm a more strong, caring, and generous person for it. And I'm cuter.

    Friday, October 9, 2015

    My Back Against the Closet Door

    Where do I begin ...?

    I did all of the regular stuff:  email/texts; employees' scheduling; a nice, hot shower; marathon watching of Nip/Tuck; and, making a date with some of my family and friends to celebrate Thanksgiving tomorrow.

    Normal stuff, right?

    Of course.

    It was just after Chloe left for the day and I was alone with my thoughts that a torrent of tears began to stream down my face. So many dark, difficult memories tumbled out of the closet door in my mind that I keep locked away.  I tried so hard to push them back, or to see each one dispassionately ... but I failed.

    Ever since Wednesday, when somebody

    To be continued ....

    Wednesday, October 7, 2015

    Home Sweet ARGH!

    I had a wonderful time with Catherine and John. They're so friendly, amiable, and hospitable people! (I swear I've never eaten or drank so much in all of my life!)

    However, I was happy to go home too.  I missed my cats and bed and my own space.  You know what I mean?

    I was looking forward to working on my laptop and catching up on everything.  Unfortunately, when I returned home this evening, my laptop was dead, and it looks like I need a new charger.


    Tuesday, October 6, 2015

    Having Fun at Catherine's Place

    Beautiful grounds and house, delicious food and drink, and cool; great; fantastic; brilliant hosts.

    I'm glad that I came!!!

    I'll post pictures tomorrow ....

    Monday, October 5, 2015


    Sarah, me, Catherine at Heathrow Airport

    Sarah, me, Catherine at Brighton Beach

    So, I'm 98% finished packing for my trip to Orangeville.  Brittainy and I are going to stay overnight at my friend Catherine's home.

    It's going to be great fun!

    Catherine and I have been friends for about 13 years.  She first started to visit me at St Lawrence Market, and bought a few paintings from me.

     We became friends, and went to parties and had dinner out together sometimes.

     When I was about to turn 50 and told Catherine that it had been my life-long dream to go to England, Catherine helped me to go there for my birthday.

    Catherine is the greatest!


    I'm not sure if I'll be able to post while I'm away.  I'll try, but no promises ....