I felt a lot better today, like 99% better! Yay!
And I had a good, productive day too. I did online banking, wrote emails, and ordered tickets through Ticketmaster for Zappa Plays Zappa, which is playing on October 19th. (I yearn to go to Zappa Day in Baltimore again this September, but I'm not sure I'll be able to this year. I might have to honour Rob by simply taking some of his ashes to the concert.)
I felt like treating myself, so I had dinner on the patio of the Hair of the Dog. I was all set to order my usual macaroni and cheese, but seeing Mom's favourite meal, tuna melt on foccascia bread, I just had to have it. All afternoon, in the back of my mind, I knew that today was the 10th month anniversary of my mother's demise. So, maybe that was one reason for my choice. Well, anyway, I felt fine and happy to eat her favourite meal and drink her favourite beer. I even toasted to her memory.
I was fine and happy, laughing and joking with Lucy during dinner. It wasn't until Lucy said she was going to see an art show at the Power Plant in the Harbourfront Centere and I explained to her that I wasn't sure how long it would be before I felt comfortable enough to visit Harbourfront again that grief suddenly whacked me in the face. I could remember all the good times that my Mom and I had spent every summer for 17 years at Harbourfront. In my minds eye I could see us a snack at Tim Horton`s and walking around the boardwalk going into the Power Plant to get out of the heat and having dinner at a nice restaurant nearby. I cried because I knew that I will never be able to do these things with Mom again.
Then I thought well maybe Mom and Dad are walking around the boardwalk themselves. Thats a nice thought. Dad loved Harbourfront too.