The spirt is willng, but the flesh is weak. That's what Mom used to say whenever she was too tired to do something she really wanted to do.
That's what I'm like today. I'm all dressed up, looking sensational in my new gold dress ... and yet; I'm tired, sad, and feeling like I'm getting sick. Ick.
Plus, it's bloody cold outside!
I was supposed to have dinner with Leon at the Hard Rock Cafe this evening, but when I went out this afternoon to see the doctor, and then to Starbucks and Loblaws, I knew that I just couldn't handle a fifteen minute jaunt over to the restaurant in such bitterly cold weather.
Instead, I stayed home, ate steak (Rob loved steak), toasted to his memory and to our life together with Scotch (he loved Scotch too), and listened to all of his favourite music on YouTube. J Geils Band, Kim Mitchell, Rush, Frank Zappa, Alice Cooper, ACDC, Max Webster - I can see Rob grinning, grooving out to the music, drumming to the beat.
We met twenty-six years ago, and we got married eighteen years ago. It seems so surreal that so many years have passed and that you've been gone from me for over four years. How is that possible? Didn't I just see you yesterday, Sweety?
One thing that isn't surreal or mysterious, and that is my love for you. My love will remain constant and unshaken.