Mulling it Over iin My Mind

I did some online banking today, wrote some emails and texts to friends and family, and I fine-tuned my employees' payroll.

Simone and Amy cleaned my whole apartment - that feels good!  And, Simone and I have been talking about going tobogganing at Christie Pitts on New Year's Eve.  How exciting and fun!

All day long, though, in the back of my mind, I kept thinking about Christmas dinner and what I would put in my letter to Holiday Inn.  It has to be written well and include all of my outrage and indignation, and yet, it has to sound fairly reasonable as well.

But besides mulling what I'm going to write over in my head, I've also been wondering who I should send it to.  A lot of people say that the head office is my best bet. I kind of agree with them, and yet, I wonder if Carlon Restaurant is run by someone else (like Starbucks at Holiday Inn is run by, well, Starbucks), and if that's the case, the hotel might not have any jurisdiction over the restaurant.

Somebody suggested that I contact the union of the restaurant and just talk to them about improving their relationship with their clientele who have disabilites.

Maybe I'll try that, too ....

Maybe I'll send a copy of my letter to EVERYONE!

(Evil laugh.)

Pink Lady, Black Leather Jacket

It was very slow at the market today.  I only made $34.00 - not even my fan showed up to give me flowers!

However, I wore my new pink dress and put a smile on my face for all of my customers to see.

The brightest spot of my day was when my friend Leon gave me a black leather jacket from the Hard Rock Cafe.  He said it's a belated Christmas gift. I love it!

He said that next week we should go for dinner at Hard Rock Cafe.  What a splendid idea!

Thanks, Leon!

Ready to Rant

Last night, after Motria went home, I decided to go to the Drug Mart to pick up some of my prescriptions and get in on any deals they might have on chocolate.

 Before we left, Dobrila and I waited at the elevator.  As we waited, one of my neighbours came out of her apartment and stood with us.  I immediately smiled at her because, although I barely knew her, when I had run into her (figuratively speaking, of course) previously she always treated me with respect.

This time was no different.  She smiled back at me and asked me if I was still painting.  She, too, had painted herself once, she explained to me.

It is both good and bad that I feel so happy and grateful to my neighbour for showing me enough respect to talk directly to me and treat me like any other person. It's good that there are people like her in the world, and bad that there are still so many jerks out there who treat me like I am a non-person.

I had been excited about going to dinner with my friends at the Holiday Inn restaurant on Christmas day.  They advertised a turkey dinner for $25.00, including dessert.  I missed my mom's turkey dinner and thought this would be a good substitute.

The soup was ok, the turkey and stuffing were like cardboard.  However, the worst thing about the meal was how the servers kept refering to me in the 3rd person. "What would she like?" they asked my friends about me. Or, "Would she like her next course?"  Each time they did this I gritted my teeth and fumed inside, but I kept quiet.  I did this because I was with friends andI was enjoying their company, and I didn't want to make a fuss and ruin the evening.  In the end, I got my own back by giving them the tiniest tip.  Unfortunately, they did not notice my rebellious move.  Instead as we were leaving, one of the servers came right upto my face and spoke loudly,"I hope you had a wonderful time, dear!"

I am angry, not only at the servers but also at myself for letting this behaivor go unchecked.  I am also angry that I should be made to feel happy and grateful when somebody shows me respect.

It's 2013 (almost 2014!) - why haven't some people caught up with the fact that people with disabilities are just like anybody else and should be treated as such!  I don't get it, I just don't get it!  The servers saw me communicate with three of my friends, they must have noticed that none of my friends were talking loudly to me, or talking about me in the third person.  Why couldn't they have simply followed suit?

I am going to write to Holiday Inn and tell them how I was humiliated by their staff.  Beleive me, I've written this type of letter many times before - more's the pity!

I am not sure if I have the power to do this, but I would love it if people boycoted the Carlton restaurant in the Holiday Inn, or go in and tell the servers what ableist schmucks they are.

That would make me happy!

Social Butterfly

I was too tired last night to finish what I was going to say.  So, I'm going to continue now ....

This thing with people at the St Lawrence Market disappearing is really freaking me out. It upsets me because vendors are being shoved out by either means of harassment or bribery.  I feel, like so many things these days, that the fate of the market is teetering upon the very edge of change, and I find myself holding my breath waiting to see what is going to happen.  Will the change(s) be good, bad, or in-between?

During these past few months, there has been so many changes, things getting juggled and rearranged. I feel like there's even more change yet to come.  Will the change(s) be good, bad, or in-between?  I don't know.  And, as Hamlet would say, "Aye, there's the rub."

As I write this, I remember reading The Pit and the Pendulum for school and asking my teacher, "Why did the man fear the pit so much?"  Her response was that, more than anything, the man feared the unknown.  The pit was pitch black, bottomless, and ominous.

After both Rob and my mother died, I felt unbelievable, gut-wrenching grief.  I also felt fear, an onimous type of dread that said: What do I do now?

Lately, I've been mentally preparing for the new changes that are coming down the pike.  They might be good, bad, or in-between.  I don't know.  The money from the sale of my mother's condo is coming soon; I can feel it in my bones.  I should be happy about this (and part of me is), but I feel so sad.  I'd rather have my mother back than all of the money in the world!  And, what will I do with the money? How long can I make it last anyway? 

Last week, I had a dream that Rob and I were choosing which house we should move into.  I wanted to get the smaller house, Rob wanted the bigger one.  He took me over to the house he liked and, all excited like a little kid, he showed me that there was a fireman's pole that ran from the bedroom down into the living room.  I looked at it and suggested that we replace the pole with an elevator.  Rob replied, "No, no, Sweety!  I want to slide down the pole with you in my arms!"

 I woke up feeling ridiculously happy and wonderinng if I should indeed buy a house with a mortgage, go back on ODSP (god help me!) and start my life anew.

Maybe the cloud of uncertainy and dread would disappear if I simply took hold of the reins of my destiny and did something really big with the money.

I'll have to think about it .....

Social Butterfly

I was going to have a venting session re my experience over the Holiday Inn's restaurant, but Motria and Dobrila are coming over for pizza and Law and Order. 

It hasn't been a particularly enterprising few days.  I've been meeting friends for coffee/frappucinos,  for dinner, or to entertain people at my place.

Like Mom would have said, I've been a regular social butterfly!

I'll vent tomorrow ....

                     And  work on the employees' scheduling and payroll  ....

                                     And edit and order more cards and merch ....

Yadda yadda yadda ....

Christmas 2013

This will be a short post because I'm tired from having such a full, busy day.

Actually, the fun started last night ....

Kelly and I drank some booze, smoked a bit of pot (felt very gooooooooooo), watched Dr Who and Star Trek: Voyager.  We also put fresh duct tape (with the design of paint splatter!) on one of my communication board.

Today, I had dinner at Holiday Inn (I'll rant about the ableist shmucks who work there tomorrow) with my friends Dobrila, Natasha, and Zack.  After dinner, we went back to my place and chatted, drank, and watched videos.

Almost immediately after they left,  my friends Nic and Jen arrived.  We chatted, drank, and watched videos.

All in all, not a bad Christmas!

How Are You Doing?

I got a text today from one of my friends asking: "How are you doing?" 

I cried for about a minute after reading this. Sometimes, like Christmas Eve or Christmas Day, this simple question seems too invasive, too personal.  In order to deal with the holidays, I do my best to pretend that the degree I miss the people I've loved and lost is actually less than it really is.

After the minute passed, I went back to what I'd been doing beforehand: playing Scrabble and Words with Friends on my iPad, and listening to my YouTube playlist.

The playlist I listen to most often is called "Anne Rocks Out" - and in my mind's eye, I do rock out! I dance and I sing, and sometimes I try out for America's Got Talent! Of course I win! This makes me happy.

I remember as a kid, laying in the livingroom listening to records on my parents stereo. I did the same thing back then as I do now, only then it was The Ed Sullivan Show.

Of course, sometimes celebrities creep into my fantasies too. Back then it was The Monkees and Donny Osmond. Now its Johnny Depp, Benedict Cumberbatch (or just Sherlock), Hugh Jackman, or David Tennant!

Well, anyway, Merry Christmas everybody! ...And, if the holidays are getting you down like me, Happy Fantasies!

Waiting for Christmas

It's hard to believe that today is the eve of Christmas Eve and that Wednesday is Christmas day.  It simultaneously seems both too far away and too close for comfort.  It seems surreal and yet painfully real.  I'm looking forward to the big day and yet dreading it.

This is my life now.  I'm no longer that little girl who would count down the days until Christmas and who, on the morning of the big day, would climb out of bed and crawl to her parents' bedroom door and knock excitedly, wanting them to wake up and propel the day forward.

I am no longer the young woman who celebrated Christmas with her mate, spending a tad too much on gifts, to both show my love to Rob and to show the world Fuck you - poverty might have been forced upon me, but I deserve to enjoy Christmas just like anybody else!

I am me, a bit older and wiser.  I live in a paradox now, wanting to remember past Christmases and yet afraid to look too close in case the cloud  of sadness blows over me.

And yet, one thing I learned from my parents and Rob is to carry on no matter what and always look on the bright side of life.

I'm watching the documentary Gonzo with Brittany and enjoyinng a peppermint mocha frappuccino.

Rascal is sitting on a kitchen chair, looking very cute.  I can't wait to give him his Christmas gifts!

Ice Storm Aftermath

Ice storm aftermath. I'm so happy I'm indoors and have power!

 I'm going for a short nap.

Wake me up when it's summer.

Working Hard for My Money

I'm tired.  It was such a busy day at the market.  Finally, a busy day!  The Christmas rush was on!  I didn't make a million dollars, it's true, but it's more than I've made in a very long while.

Apart from the financial part of the day, my faithful fan gave me not only a bouquet of flowers but another Starbucks gift card.  In return, I gave him a good deal on mugs and calendars, and a free tote bag.

After I packed up and left the market, I had dinner at the Old Spaghetti Factory with my brother and his kids.  That was fun!  Dinner was delicious, company superb, and exchanging gifts most enjoyable.

Because I only had four hours of sleep, however, and because I had worked so hard, I kept dozing off during dinner.  I was and am so tired.

Good night.

ZzzzzzzzzzzzzZZZZZzzzzzzzzzzzzz ....

Back to Normal

I'm feeling much better today.  Back to Normal, you might say.  Whatever that means ....

No more napping with my cats in the middle of the afternoon - delightful, though, as that has been!

Now it's back to work: answering emails, keeping the employees' scheduling straight, doing my fiinances, and (of course!) buying/wrapping Christmas presents.

I've exchanged a few gifts.  Motria gave me a chocolate snowman and the DVD Blow with Johnny Depp - I loved both!  And I gave her two gift cards and a bottle of wine that was in the shape of a cat.

Today, I gave Sarah a box of oysters and a LCBO gift card, and she gave me a tin of British mini Rolos and a bottle of homemade peppermint mocha liqueur.

I just hope Hershey'll let me near it! He's such a lush, you know ....

Still Sick

... but feeling a tiny bit better.

Yay!

Blog Entry Cancelled Due to Illness

Bleah.

I got a cold ....

Half Good, Half Bad

Today wasn't bad. I fought with UPS over the phone this morning for awhile. Apparently, they had shipped my package back to where it had originally come from.  I won't bore you with the details.  Sufficed to say, I mentally shrugged my shoulders and came up with a new plan of action.

I sent all of my Dandy Membership customers a package each of my winter variety cards along with a note of apology.  Hopefully, people will understand about the mishap ....

So, after everything was mailed off, I bought more stuff for Christmas presents, bought a sub and peppermint mocha frappuccino for dinner. I also made a reservation at the Holiday Inn's restaurant for four people on Christmas Day.

Turkey, stuffing, potaoes, and for dessert bread pudding -- all for $25.00 per person! Brilliant, I say!

Brilliant, except that I wrapped presents after dinner, and immediately heard "Time After Time" in my heaad and felt weepy and sad ....

Plus, I feel like I'm getting a cold.  Ick!  I took some cold medicine awhile ago, and now I feel like it's trying to pin my shoulders to the mat for the count out.

One - two - three!  She's out!

Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz ....

Good night, everyone!

Upset!

AAAAAAAAAAaaaaaaaaaaaaarrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrgggggggggggghhhhhhhh!  Bloody helllllllllllll!!!!!!!!!  GRRRRRRRRRrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr!!!!

I hate when I'm organized but the rest of the world can't seem to keep up with me.

At the beginning of the month, I ordered cards to be made and sent to me.  The cards were for the customers of my Dandy Note Cards Membership program, who are expecting a note card and an explanation card for the month of December.  I had received other types of merch from the same source, so I guess I had just assumed that the cards were also there.

Unfortunately, not ....

I tracked down exactly what had happened and found out that UPS had delivered the cards to my address early last week, but because I hadn't been home, or perhaps I was having a shower or something, they left and took my cards with them! UPS usually leaves packages outside my door, or they leave the super or administrator.  When they do take back packages, they leave me a notice saying we were here, you weren't, come pick it up at our location or at the nearest post office.  But nothing this time, not a single slip.  Not a fucking dickie-bird!

As if I don't have enough to do without going out of my way to claim a package which should have been simply dropped off last Monday!

I just hope my membership customers won't be too upset to get Holiday cards a day or two Christmas.  Maybe I'll send everyone a free pen or magnet to say sorry.

Jeez!  I hate UPS.