Thursday, January 8, 2015

Epiphany Part II

Excuse me for such an abrupt ending to last night's post.  I was exhausted and my back was killimg me!

What I wanted to say was that I took another dose of shrooms before I began work on Rob's portrait, and this time I did have an epiphany.  Well, two, actually ... but the second one is kind of silly.

I started painting and kept thinking, Bloody hell! What am I doing? This looks terrible!  I was getting depressed and angry at myself, until I stopped and actually looked at what I had created so far.  I liked it! It wasn't my usual style, it was more freehand and experimental.  I could see Rob's gaze eerily staring back at me. It was a good picture; maybe not perfect, but I could work the kinks out.

It was then that I was hit by my first epiphany:  This was it. This was what I was supposed to do with my art.  Certainly I would continue to paint my usual repitoire of animals; landscapes; and flowers, but from now on I would concentrate upon my more intimate works, especially the ones that depict my feelings of grief.  By doing this, perhaps I can learn how to cope and understand myself more.

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