Internet! You foul, sluggish beast, you! Did you party too much over the weekend and have a massive hangover? Tough! I have work to do! I need to reply to emails and order more cards. Bloody hell!
Perhaps I`ll boot you in the butt by turning my computer off and on. If that doesn`t work, maybe I`ll unplug and plug you.
I love you and I hate you! Why can`t you behave yourself?!