Friday, November 27, 2015

I Hate Hospitals!

Ever since I can remember I've had trouble with getting food lodged in my esophagus. It's annoying, sure, but it's just something I live with. 99 out of 100 times it's no problem. I drink Coke or tea, but for more serious times I drink apple cider vinegar or oil and water. Most of the time it works to push everything down.

Unfortunately it's that one time out of a hundred that gets me every time. I hate hospitals! You have no idea how much I hate hospitals! I will do anything to avoid them. However, after 24 hours have passed and the food is still there and I'm exhausted from trying to move it, I give up and go to the hospital.

I've been to all the downtown hospitals in my 20 years here and to me Mount Sinai was the best. Well not anymore! Let me tell you about my experience this time.

I can deal with some of the doctors and nurses doing this weird thing where they begin directly asking me questions and then asking the people with me what's wrong with me. I want to scream "Hello! I'm still here! I didn't just disappear!"

And sure I could understand that they were too busy to take me to the operating room right away. They seemed very busy. And sure I groaned a bit when they told me I had to spend the night in a very uncomfortable cot situated in the very brightly lit and noisy hallway of the emergency room (they usually put me in a quiet little cubicle). But I could see that they were renovating so I just shrugged and dealt with it.

I didn't get angry until they woke me up and told me my procedure wouldn't be until 5 o'clock. I said "AM?" To which they said "No, PM." I just about lost it because they knew I hadn't eaten or had anything to drink in over 24 hours. Plus it's been drummed into my head over these few years that it's very dangerous to leave food in my esophagus for long periods of time because the food can either go into my lungs or perforate my esophagus!

So I was finally taken up to a room to wait until 5. Lucy was with me and she was great. We watched Netflix and scratched lottery tickets. But by 5pm I was feeling nuts because nobody had given me an IV for fluids. Can you imagine that!?! I asked for one and pointed out that it had been 48 hours since I'd had something to drink or eat. Isn't that terrible!?! They gave me one of course, but they never apologized for not giving me one earlier.

Well hours passed, and I was told that I'd have to spend another night there. I almost went berserk! Never in my life had I had to spend two nights waiting for a 20 minute procedure! Considering the seriousness of my condition, what the hell were they thinking!?!

Well anyway at 2pm the next day they FINALLY took me to the operating room. They were all very nice, and I thought the anaesthesiologist was cute. That's good! They told me that they found a HUGE piece of cheese blocking the hole to my stomach (personally, I thing it was tofu).

I was so happy that it was over and I could go home! I was happy until a harpy of a doctor told me "This must never happen again." She told Lucy that all my workers had to start "cutting the cheese" and other types of food. Angrily, I told her it's up to me to tell my employees, not her! Again, the doctor said "this can't happen again!" And it made me feel like I couldn't go back to the hospital again. It also made me feel like they were being hypocritical because they had endangered my life by not doing the procedure earlier and by not checking my hydration.

I've lived with this condition all my life and I know accidents happen. Once when I was a teenager my mom was giving me a piece of cake with huge pieces of walnut on it. She thought she had taken all of them off but one got stuck in my throat.

Accidents happen, especially to me

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