Taking it Easy Tonight

My throat still hurts a lot. I thought it was from having a scope threaded down into my gullet at the hospital. However, it's been four days since the procedure and the pain isn't lessening at all.  Oddly enough, my ears both hurt too.

I hope I'm not getting sick.

                             I hope I'm not getting sick.

                                                    I hope I'm not getting sick.

                                                                               I hope I'm not getting siiiiick!

Best medicine:  watching Doctor Who and Hemlock Grove with Brittainy while drinking a frappuccino.

Ahhh ....

I Now Return You to My Regularly Scheduled Life

I'm back.  Writing emails/texts and doing the payroll. I'm sleeping well in my own bed and cuddling my two boys as much as possible. And I'm eating goddamnit! I'm eating everything I want, even cheese! Sure, smaller pieces of cheese, but I would have done that anyway without the doctor instructing me to.

And now, after I scan some slides I'm going to paint again.

Thank god I'm home!

A Nice Funny Dream

So, I woke up from a nice funny dream this morning. I was a child on holiday with my family.  I suddenly saw through a window an advertisement for a movie about Lawrence of Arabia.  For some reason, I  had to see this  movie, so I talked my family into seeing it with me.  Two days later, (according to my dream this was how long it lasted) I could my big brother Bruce say, "Boy, that movie was long!"

And then, suddenly, I was an adult and Rob was pushing me around in my manual wheelchair.  We came across an exhibit of Johnny Depp's memorabilia. Without a word, Rob took one of Johnny Depp's hats and put it on his own head.  I tried to protest by saying, "Hey, put that back!"  Rob just shrugged and ignored me.

Rob and I carried our little jaunt in silence.  A few moments later, who appeared out of nowhere but Johnny Depp demanding his hat back!  Rob simply grinned and told Johnny that he liked the Kim Mitchell hat that he was wearing.  So, the two men traded hats, and they both seemed pleased with themselves ....

I Hate Hospitals!

Ever since I can remember I've had trouble with getting food lodged in my esophagus. It's annoying, sure, but it's just something I live with. 99 out of 100 times it's no problem. I drink Coke or tea, but for more serious times I drink apple cider vinegar or oil and water. Most of the time it works to push everything down.

Unfortunately it's that one time out of a hundred that gets me every time. I hate hospitals! You have no idea how much I hate hospitals! I will do anything to avoid them. However, after 24 hours have passed and the food is still there and I'm exhausted from trying to move it, I give up and go to the hospital.

I've been to all the downtown hospitals in my 20 years here and to me Mount Sinai was the best. Well not anymore! Let me tell you about my experience this time.

I can deal with some of the doctors and nurses doing this weird thing where they begin directly asking me questions and then asking the people with me what's wrong with me. I want to scream "Hello! I'm still here! I didn't just disappear!"

And sure I could understand that they were too busy to take me to the operating room right away. They seemed very busy. And sure I groaned a bit when they told me I had to spend the night in a very uncomfortable cot situated in the very brightly lit and noisy hallway of the emergency room (they usually put me in a quiet little cubicle). But I could see that they were renovating so I just shrugged and dealt with it.

I didn't get angry until they woke me up and told me my procedure wouldn't be until 5 o'clock. I said "AM?" To which they said "No, PM." I just about lost it because they knew I hadn't eaten or had anything to drink in over 24 hours. Plus it's been drummed into my head over these few years that it's very dangerous to leave food in my esophagus for long periods of time because the food can either go into my lungs or perforate my esophagus!

So I was finally taken up to a room to wait until 5. Lucy was with me and she was great. We watched Netflix and scratched lottery tickets. But by 5pm I was feeling nuts because nobody had given me an IV for fluids. Can you imagine that!?! I asked for one and pointed out that it had been 48 hours since I'd had something to drink or eat. Isn't that terrible!?! They gave me one of course, but they never apologized for not giving me one earlier.

Well hours passed, and I was told that I'd have to spend another night there. I almost went berserk! Never in my life had I had to spend two nights waiting for a 20 minute procedure! Considering the seriousness of my condition, what the hell were they thinking!?!

Well anyway at 2pm the next day they FINALLY took me to the operating room. They were all very nice, and I thought the anaesthesiologist was cute. That's good! They told me that they found a HUGE piece of cheese blocking the hole to my stomach (personally, I thing it was tofu).

I was so happy that it was over and I could go home! I was happy until a harpy of a doctor told me "This must never happen again." She told Lucy that all my workers had to start "cutting the cheese" and other types of food. Angrily, I told her it's up to me to tell my employees, not her! Again, the doctor said "this can't happen again!" And it made me feel like I couldn't go back to the hospital again. It also made me feel like they were being hypocritical because they had endangered my life by not doing the procedure earlier and by not checking my hydration.

I've lived with this condition all my life and I know accidents happen. Once when I was a teenager my mom was giving me a piece of cake with huge pieces of walnut on it. She thought she had taken all of them off but one got stuck in my throat.

Accidents happen, especially to me

Just Came Home from Two Days at Mt Sinai

ARGH!!

Oh my god! It's been 24 hours since I came here to Mount Sinai Hospital and 52 hours since I have ate or drank. I'm so frustrated and exhausted because the kept giving me tests and x-rays, and kept postponing my procedure. Now they say I need to wait until the morning to have it done.

Kill me now!

Should I Go or Should I Stay?

Decision made: going to the hospital!

A Good Day Except For ...

It was a good and productive day. 

My building put a new smoke alarm in my apartment, and they promised to fix the taps of my sink.

I bought vitamins at Whole Health, and drugs for pain at Shoppers.

At College Park, I picked up my speech from The Printing House; made a dentist appointment; and bought gift bags at Dollarama.

Afterwards, I went to Loblaws and bought groceries.

I was happy that I got so much done, and I was planninng on finishing my most recent painting after dinner.

Unfortunately, some food got stuck in my throat and it won't move.

Argh!

Being Single-Minded

I'm proud of myself!  I was very single-minded today and just focused upon the task of writing my speech. No emails, painting, or ordering merch - just writing!

I'm almost finished too!

Short and Sweet

Despite looking my brightest and most approachable, sales were pretty dismal.  Hopefully, things will be better next week.

Oh well, back to emails and working on my speech ....

Insomia

I'm tired.  Last night my mind just wouldn't allow me to go to sleep.  It picked and nagged at me, making me stay up until 3am writing emails.  And, at 7am, my mind woke me up (and kept me awake), insisting that I keep on working.

The nagging isn't the worst part, though.  It's the berating, over and over, about my imperfections.  And the worrying - oh my god, the worrying!  The state of the world; getting Hershey's teeth cleaned; getting my teeth cleaned; the small, flat mole on my thigh seeming to grow slightly.

Was I having a heart attack or a panic attack?

Was I dying?  Did I care?


Mind, stop TORTURING ME!  I need to sleep tonight, so please SHUT UP!

 Shhhhhhhhhh ....

A Beautiful November Day

My boys noticed the beauty of the day before I did.

Well, now I'm going to take a page from their book and relax and enjoy this extraordinary balmy weather.

 

... After I paint for awhile!

One By One

One by one I'm crossing off my mental list:

• Picked up prescription
• Purchased cat food from vet
• Picked up package from post office
• Signed my employees' paycheques
• Replied to important emails
• Bought birthday gift for friend

Tomorrow, I'll focus upon my painting or my speech - or upon both!

Words

Words.  Lots and lots were used today in emails, texts, and phone calls.

I arranged for a custom made piece of Plexiglas to be delivered to my home sometime next week.  It's going to go on top of my kitchen table to protect my new tablecloth from cat claws.

I contacted customers about their orders and contacted some of my friends whom I hadn't heard from in awhile.  Plus, I contacted my friend Lynn, who's a speech/language pathologist at U of T, to ask what time she wanted me to give my talk to her class next week.

 Tomorrow, I need to work on the aforementioned speech; order more cat food; get a prescription re-filled; sign cheques; work on the current employees' schedule; reply to more emails; and, find time to paint.

No rest for the wicked!

Paint Today

Paint today  ...

Words tomorrow!