Way, Way Too Busy to Write

I'll write tomorrow ....

For now, this picture of one of my adorable cats!

A Day Full of Promise

All in all, it was a pretty good day at the market, despite the fact that I had only gotten maybe four hours of sleep.  (My cats kept fighting on my bed, which, of course, periodically woke me up.)  I made $79.00 - which is better than a swift kick in the behind!

I also received a beautiful bouquet of tulips from a fan - the same person who had given another bunch of flowers a couple of months ago!

My customers were more friendly and chatty today. Some, because they liked my artwork and wanted for me to get more exposure, gave me a few suggestions where I could show/sell my work online.

One of these people was an old friend named Mike Harris. I call him The Good Mike Harris Not the Evil Mike Who Plunged the Most Poor, Marginalized People in Ontario into Deep, Fathomless Poverty.

Mike is the manager of Show Gallery.  I used to have a showing there every year until the gallery got very busy and so did I. Mike said they didn't hae very many artists these days and I quickly offered myself. So we made a tentative agreement that I could show my artwork there in January!

As I was heading out I talked to my friend Andrea who runs the salt store and I casually mentioned that I was running home to do the payroll for my employees. She gave me a brilliant idea and told me she does her employee payroll in Googledocs. She said she gets all her employees to enter in their own hours and it automatically calculates what each employee will get paid. I love that idea! It sure would get some of the work off me!

I'm so happy! I'm dying to try out some of these suggestions! However, right now I'm going to bed.

Hopefully, the cats won't fight on my bed tonight!

Every Little Thing is Gonna be All Right

The times when I'm the most happy is when I'm cuddling with my sweet cats ...

Painting, especially when there's cool tunes in the background ...

Chillin' with people I love ....

And, it makes me happy when I get things done.  I had a list as long as your arm, and I got 97% done.  That's pretty good, right?  I'll do the rest tomorrow.

And, as I was looking through my emails, I found an old one that had a video attachment of Bob Marley singing Every Little Thing is Gonna be All Right.  It made me feel even more than I had already been. My usual cynicism melted away.  Maybe every little thing will be all right!

Thanks, Bob!

Happy Halloween

I was going to paint a mask and go out as my beloved Dandylion.

My new burnt orange poncho would have been perfect for that costume!

I wanted to go out on Church St, too, and see all of the cool costumes - but I'm swamped with work! 

 Bloody hell!  Maybe next year I'll dress up as Cinderella ....

Happy Halloween, everyone!

So Many Thoughts and Feelings

... on a beautiful fall day.

 Ever since my counselling session today my head has been filled with thoughts and feelings: sadness, frustration, anger and guilt.

I am a guilt-monster! Rob used to tease me and say, "Anne, you probably feel you're to blame for global warming." I would laugh and say, "Yes, yes, I do!" Unfortunately, there's a grain of truth in it. I do feel guilty about global warming and I think about who is conscious of what's happening in the world today should feel that way too.

One thing that keeps repeating itself in these sessions is that the overwhelming feeling of guilt and the need to be perfect, to be "Super-Anne". There are many reasons why I feel like this , mostly it stems from having a disability. I know it's ridiculous to feel this way because I have no control over the way my body is. I'm not sure if other people with disabilities feel this way but maybe they do because society, geneally speaking, devalues us and blames us for being a drain on the economy. I also think this is why I stive to be perfect, to show people I do have value goddamnit!

My counsellor told me to give myself a break and whener I being to feel guilt I need to think about myself and my accomplishments in a positive way. I'll try my best to do that.

In the meantime, I will try to focus on the gorgeous fall scenery to cheer myself up. It won't be long before snow comes. Oh crap! Now I feel guilty about meantioning the "s" word! 

FINISHED

I'm finished with my newest painting.  Yay!

I feel happy and proud with my accomplishment.

I also feel sore and tired.  Ah, the life of an artist ....!

99 Percent Finished

Old Paintings and New

Yesterday, before I saw Aunt Joyce, I went to my mom's place and collected some things to bring home.

I found old photos, slides, and greeting cards.  Mom had saved all of the poetry, speeches, and stories that I had written over the years.  She had kept all of the articles written about me too.  I was her flamboyant, slightly nutty, politically minded daughter - and she had always been so proud of me!

Here are the paintings she had bought from me over the years:

"Cousin's First Home"

"Through the Mist"

"Flowers on Mother's Day"

"Standing on a Bridge"

"The Essencee of My Father"

Thanks, Mom, for the love and support you gave to me all of my life.   It's made me strong and determined to carry on.  I dare not even think about quitting on my art or writing because these things were what you greatly admired about me. (Well, that and my optimistic, caring, fun-loving ways - things you instilled in me anyways.)

I'm determined to finish this painting tonight!

I'll talk to you tomorrow ....

Visiting Aunt Joyce

I thought today was going to be hard because I was going to visit my Aunt and give her support in her time of mourning. As I've said before in this blog, I have such empathy for her that I sometimes have flash-backs to the first few days after Rob's death.

It wasn't like that though. Of course my Aunt Joyce was very sad but she was also very happy to see me and kept saying so. We chatted and had dinner together. We talked about good times and bad, and of people we loved and missed. She talked about the lives of my cousins and I told her how Bruce and the kids are doing.

Aunt Joyce, besides missing Uncle Norm, really misses my Mom. They had always been very close but during the last 14 years they had been practically inseperable.

As I listened to her talk and watched her move about, I could see flashes of my Mom. It made me gasp, smile and feel a twinge of sadness. Maybe in some cosmic way they still are inseperable. 

A Gray and Rainy Market Day

It was a gray and rainy October day.  I got absolutely soaked on the way to the Market.  Amy was a bit late to meet me, so a fellow vendor dried me off, wiped my glasses, and lend me a woolen poncho.  People can be so nice sometimes!

It wasn't bad at the market today, despite the weather and nearby the road construction.  People were very nice and talkative, and I actually made $92.00!  Woo-hoo!  If I had seen one more low tally (below $50.00), I was going to scream!

I'm tired now.  As Laura and I ate pizza; Kraft Dinner; and salad, we watched two movies (Hellboy and Double Jeopardy) and Peep Show.

Tomorrow, Yuula and I are going to visit Aunt Joyce.   I feel such great empathy for my aunt.  It's heart-wrenching to lose someone you've loved, lived with for most of your adult life, and have been intimate as well. 

I'll write more tomorrow ....

New Glasses

I got new glasses today.

In fact, I got two pairs of glasses!

One pair is for my near-sightedness, the other one is f'or my far-sightedness.  I just couldn't stand wearkng bi-focals!

Well, anyway, I'm heading to bed now, so I can get up at 6am and go to the market.

No rest for the wicked, I suppose .....

Unstuck

I painted until 3am.

I'm pleased with both faces, and I like the way the motion of walking looks too.

Hopefully, I'll finish it tonight ....

Stuck

My mind is totally focused upon my newest painting.  I'm stuck.  I can't get one of the faces exactly right - I hate that!

Back to work ...

My Mind is Full of ...

My mind is full of adorable cats.

Finishing my newest painting.

And, having a tuna sub for dinner.

Also, my nose is full of snot .... I hope I'm not getting a cold!

Shhhh

Artist at work ....