Monday, December 21, 2015
Neither a Window Licker Nor Super Woman
You know, dear readers, just how much I love going to Starbucks. A day without at least one Peppermint Mocha Frappuccino is like a day without sunshine.
For the most part, the people at Starbucks are super nice and respectful to me. However, one day, about two weeks ago, I was in line with Alana to put in my order for my frappe. The person who served me smiled and asked me how I was. She then turned to Alana and said, "It's so nice to see her out and about." I think both Alana and I were taken aback by this comment aimed at me. The cafe was crowded so we couldn't get into how offensive that comment was, although Alana did say, "Oh, you have to be kidding! Anne rarely stays home!"
Two things went through my head during this exchange. The first was, Oh my god! She thinks I'm a window licker! She thinks I'm a bloody fucking window licker! (For those who don't know, "window licker" is a derogatory term for a person with a disability. The gist of the meaning is to imply that the person with a disability in question has no meaningful life and just sits by the window.)
I felt very insulted and angry!
I also felt very sad. In my mind's eye I could see my mom listing off all my accomplishments to the server. Mom was always my biggest and best publicist.
(I miss you, Mom!)
I hate it when people underestimate my abilities! It infuriates me! It is probably why I'm an anal over-achiever. I have this need to prove that I'm just as good as anyone else despite my disability.
The other side of the coin, of course, is when people expect too much from me. Sure, sometimes I joke and say I'm Super Anne, but even I have my limitations.
I was invited to a party this past weekend and I really wanted to go, but it was being held in Scarborough and I would have had to go on Wheel Trans, which I hate because some of the drivers are ableist schmucks. Plus, my wheelchair is in pretty rough shape, so I'm nervous about travelling long distances. And, because it is a long distance and I would have had to stay at the party for at least four or five hours one of my employees would have had to be willing to come with me . However, because of the Christmas season, a lot of people have gone away.
The people who invited me should have understood and tried to see things from my perspective, but instead they tried to guilt me into going. And when I mentioned that celebrating Christmas made me extremely depressed, somebody actually said, "Well, maybe you're just going through 'the change."
Maybe I am Super Anne, but people need to understand that even I have my limitations!