Monday, September 12, 2011

The Countdown is on


Yes, the countdown is definitely on now! Five more days, and then I'm on the road to Baltimore to the Frank Zappa Festival, where I can honour both Frank and Rob.

The hotel and van are booked, and the travel insurance purchased.  Laura is looking after the cats while I'm away, and I've written out a list of all the things I need to be packed.  I like to be organized!  If I don't feel like I'm organized I become panicky. I even jolt awake in a cold sweat some nights, worrying about everything!

I got a phone call from the Mayor's office in Baltimore a few weeks back.  That was cool!  They had read the email I sent to Mayor Stephanie Rawlings-Blake asking for advice on cheap/accessible hotels and other fun/accessible attractions to see besides the FZ Festival.  The Mayor's aid said she could get me into a fancy hotel for a reasonable price.  At first I was thrilled, but then I compared prices and the Best Western Hotel, which I had booked 3 weeks beforehand, had better rates than the one the Mayor's aid was suggesting.  So, I wrote back and said, thanks but Best Western is good enough for me.

Five more days..... Am I happy? Am I excited about it all?  Yeah... sort of.   I'm sure I'll have some fun. And, of course, I'm taking cool, great, fantastic, brilliant people with me!  People I love.

And yet, I can not seem to get over this overwhelming sadness within myself.  Rob should be here to share in the whole experience - from start to finish - the planning, the arrangements, the trip itself, and the actual FZ Festival.   I can see him now, trying to be nonchalant and yet secretly overjoyed. That was Rob's style/ He would also try to look on the pessimistic side of things in order to brace himself for disappointment. That was Rob's style too.

I miss Rob so much!  There is not a day that goes by that I don't think about him and wish that he was still here. 

Nine more days until the second anniversary of his death.  Two years - how can it be?

"Love of my Life"

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